Humility, Non-pretentiousness & Self-insecurity
Bhagavad Gita (13.7) talks of the following values: (1) Humility (Amanitvam) & (2) Non-Pretentiousness (Adhambitvam).
Humility was defined as freedom from the tendency to glorify oneself. We may have an exaggerated self-opinion based on our achievements in life. These achievements may be academic, career, money, fame, music, qualification, etc. This high self-opinion can lead to arrogance or 'manitvam'. When arrogance occurs there is a tendency to demand that other people should show me respect for my achievements (Atmani Pujyatva Bhavah). The cause of such an arrogant attitude is 2 fold: (a) Addiction to the praise of others for me & (b) Lack of understanding about the multiple factors involved in any accomplishment. a) Other people may praise me for my accomplishments. This is fine and not a problem. However it does become a problem when I start to get addicted to this praise from others. I only feel good about my accomplishments when OTHERS praise me for them. I do not accept myself & my accomplishments as I am. There is actually a feeling insecurity & emptiness inside deep down, hence I seek others validation of my accomplishments to make me feel good and acceptable to myself. This lack of self-acceptance leads to me to demand acceptance from others.
Ideally, I should be confident about my accomplishments and accept myself as I am. Such a quiet self-acceptance means I can be satisfied in myself. Therefore I do not have the need to seek the acceptance/praise of others. Therefore I have no need to show off to others. This is natural humility. Being arrogant & showing off only reveals 1 thing: my own insecurity about myself. b) We must also remember that I am not the only factor in my accomplishments hence I should acknowledge this and this makes me naturally humble. For example – To get a good job is not only my effort, but requires the help of parents, teachers, society, the government, friends, right time, right place, luck (punya/grace) etc. I am only 1 of many factors in my own success. So I cannot claim full ownership of my successes. Confidence is a healthy thing, Arrogance is not. Hence the Gita says "may you be free from arrogance". In others words "may you try to be humble" and live a fulfilled life.
The next value was Non-Pretentiousness (Adhambitvam). This is similar to the above value of Amanitvam. The difference is (1) is based on real accomplishments, whereas (2) is based on false accomplishments. Pretending to be something you are not to others in order to seek the attention of others and impress them. "I am a great scholar" even though I have studied a subject for a day! This is a form of untruth. We may act in such a way to impress others because then I feel good about myself. But it actually reveals I do not feel good about myself as I am, so I have to pretend to be something I am not. It reveals a deep insecurity within my own mind. Hence the Gita teachers "you do not need to pretend to be something you are not". Accept yourself as you are & be happy!
Why follow all these values (dharma)? The Bhagavad Gita teaches these values to enable us to live fulfilled lives, here later on in life. They bring about relative peace now & lead us to lasting peace (Moksha) later.
